EI 3.0 Self Management Intro...

Self Management is the second major part of personal intelligence.

Self Management is dependent upon your level of self-awareness. Your skills of self awareness build the foundation of your self management skills.

'Self management is what happens when you act, or do not act after becoming aware of your emotions and how you act.'

Let me give you an example. It is like what happens when you are angry. Do you express your anger? If you do, how do you express your anger? Are you able to remain composed while expressing anger? Do you get out of control when you are angry? Do you speak things which you later regret? Do you shout? Do you hit people when you are angry? Do you absorb the anger? Do you try to divert your attention to something else? Do you try to hide your anger?

We don't experience emotions in a vacuum; if we did, managing them would be easy. We experience them with people around us. Many of these people and their actions trigger emotions in us. These emotions vary in intensity. Most of us are good at managing mild emotions. The place where most people fail to manage themselves successfully is during an emotionally arousing situation. Whether it is a heated debate between colleagues or a deadline, situations that elicit high-intensity feelings put your true self-management skills to the test.

Self-management is your ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and direct your behaviour positively. This would mean managing your emotional reactions to situations and people. Some emotions create paralyzing fear that makes your thinking so cloudy that the best course of action is nowhere to be found. In these cases, self management is revealed by your ability to tolerate the uncertainty as you explore your emotions and options. Once you understand and build comfort with what you are feeling, the best course of action will automatically show itself.

Self management is much more than resisting explosive behaviour. The biggest challenge that people face is managing their tendencies over time and applying their skills in a variety of situations. Obvious and momentary opportunities for self-control (i.e., “I’m so mad at that x&#@....!”) are the easiest to spot and manage.

Real results come from putting your momentary needs on hold to pursue larger, more important goals. The realization of such goals is often delayed, meaning that your commitment to self-management will be tested over and over again. Those who manage themselves the best are able to see things through without cracking.

Success comes to those who can put their needs on hold and continually manage their tendencies.