EI 4.1 Social Awareness : Introduction

Do you have someone in your team with whom you feel very comfortable? Martha was one such person in John’s team. She seemed to know, every time, what he is going through. If he would be back from a very tough meeting, she would sense it and not interfere. Rather she would give him space and time to cool off. So many times when John needed something, she seemed to know it already. It was so easy to communicate with her. A meeting with her always seemed like she was joining you in a relay race running at your speed ready to take the baton. The conversation used to look like she running at your speed and passing the baton back and forth between them. It was such a delight to have her in the team. Just her presence used to make him relaxed.

Salim was a waiter in a restaurant. Many times he would be handling multiple tables with customers having entirely different preferences. Some would not like to be disturbed and would expect him to silently serve them. Some others would like to have a pep talk. Others would like service to be faster while some others would like it to go slow. Somehow Salim was able to sense these preferences and serve the customers accordingly. His customers always left delighted and gave him heavy tips. For so many of them, he would remember their names and welcome them with “Good evening Mr. XXX …”

For the owner of the restaurant, Salim was an asset to have.

Martha and Salim are ‘high’ on Social Awareness. It is the ability of the individual to understand what is going on with others. This means that one gives enough sensitivity, time and effort to understand what is going on with people around them. Both Martha and Salim are able to look past the words someone is saying and gain an understanding of

the thoughts and emotions the other person is feeling beneath the surface. Understanding what kinds of thoughts and emotions the other person is feeling will help you unlock the true meaning of what the other person is saying and gain a better understanding of where the person is coming from.

The best way to be socially aware is to put yourself in the other person's shoes. This isn't always the easiest thing to do, but the following tips will help you do just that –

1. When you are with other people, focus your thoughts on the other person's perspective by spending some extra time to fully observe the situation, listening closely to how and what is being said, and asking questions that will help you gain a better understanding.

2. Try not to let your own thoughts and feelings disturb the interaction. You will be surprised by what you notice about others when your mind is more on them than it is on you.